Since She Left Me

This is my story after she left me.
The chapter I will have to write without her there to write it with me.

Poo.

Even if it has daggers sticking out of it, you just have to embrace it, because there is no other choice and there is absolutely nothing you can do about it.

Can’t sleep! I hate homework.

I wish inception were real, where we can really pick which dream to have again. The dream, feeling as if it really were real.

I think I’d pick this dream I had of you. I going to a baseball game, it wasn’t an ordinary baseball field. It was extremely weird with bleachers facing a really small and awkward dome-like stage. But for some reason, it was a baseball game in my dream. There were three ticket stands that stood between the entrance the open villa where people got together before they bought tickets to go in the game/theater.

I got a text from you, telling me that you were going to come.

I remember getting so excited that I jumped up and left my parents sitting on the bleachers and told them I’d be right back.

I waited outside the gate for what seemed like hours in my dream.

Then through the trees that were lined up outside the gate, I spotted you from afar. You were wearing that purple worn-out sweater you used to always wear and your hair was tied up(I hope you know that I’ve always liked your hair up, I never meant to say that I didn’t like it although it might’ve seemed like it that one time. I’m sorry.)

We ran towards each other and I remember holding you so tight, never letting go because of the fear that if I do, my dream would end. And I’d wake up with a pool of tears.

….but then I woke up and I couldn’t go back to sleep.

I tried my hardest to fall back asleep and get back into the dream, but I couldn’t even close my eyes.

Tears started travelling down my cheeks, to my ears and onto my pillow.

I got up and seized another day carrying this with me.

4/10

I knew what my purpose in life was, and it was to grow old with her, love her, experience life with her.

But when I found out that it wasn’t the same for her, my whole world fell apart.

bonesandcoffee: “You want to know what happiness is? It’s waking up in the middle of the night for no reason, shifting under the blankets and feeling the heat of the person next to you. You turn around and see them in their most peaceful, innocent, and vulnerable state. They breathe as though the weight of the world lays on anyone’s shoulder but their own. You smile, kiss their face in the most gentle manner so as not to wake them. You turn back around and an involuntary grin forms on your own face. You feel an arm wrap around your waist, and you know it doesn’t get any better than this.”

bonesandcoffee:

“You want to know what happiness is? It’s waking up in the middle of the night for no reason, shifting under the blankets and feeling the heat of the person next to you. You turn around and see them in their most peaceful, innocent, and vulnerable state. They breathe as though the weight of the world lays on anyone’s shoulder but their own. You smile, kiss their face in the most gentle manner so as not to wake them. You turn back around and an involuntary grin forms on your own face. You feel an arm wrap around your waist, and you know it doesn’t get any better than this.”

(via everylittlethingfeelsbig)

everylittlethingfeelsbig asked: yaaay! you enabled. this is going to seem weird. but all of your posts remind me so much of my ex boyfriend...haha i hope you are doing welll!!! <3

hah, it’s okay.

for some reason, i really like your depressing reblogs. haha.